Finding out that you have breast cancer can be a real shock, it is natural to experience a range of feelings and a sense of disbelief. It can and will take time for you to absorb the news. You will find a million and one things that will run through your mind. As well as trying to come to terms with the news, getting all the relevant information about your diagnosis and treatment, you will naturally wonder how to tell your loved ones.

There are so many things that will run through your mind however you need to take a step back and deal with one thing at a time. Process this life-changing news in the first instance and deal with everything else second.

This is a very private time for you and only you can decide whom to tell and when. Once you understand and absorb what your treatment will look like then might be the right time to share your news with others.  You may not feel up to handling difficult conversations at the start, this is fine. Take each step, one at a pace and at a time that you are comfortable with.

It is natural for you to be concerned about telling family and friends about your diagnosis. You will wonder and worry about how they will react, and perhaps you want to protect them from what is going on. We understand that it will be hard to talk about your diagnosis, as talking about it makes the whole thing very real.

Living with a diagnosis of Breast Cancer, at any stage, means that there will be times when difficult conversations need to take place, however once these conversations have taken place and they are out in the open everyone can potentially freely discuss their worries, concerns, and emotions.

Cancer doesn’t just affect the person with the diagnosis, it affects everyone around them too so be open about your cancer, your treatment, and what is going to happen. Be open about your feelings and emotions. Share questions and discuss your cancer openly – it will play a big part in your life so do not push it away and pretend it isn’t happening because it is. Your family and friends will feel more connected if you are able to talk openly about what is going on.

If you are a parent, grandparent, or career of children, this is a particularly difficult conversation to have. It is natural to want to protect your children, however children often know more than we give them credit for and will want to know what is going on.

Whilst we understand this will be a difficult conversation to have, it will help both you and your children. Children will know something is going on, and it can help them cope and understand what is going to happen.

Different ages may need information given in different ways, as children’s understanding can vary. Plan your conversation, obtain relevant resources online perhaps. There is a large array of books available, maybe ask your Breast Care Nurse or Oncologist for guidance or suggestions?

Once that conversation has happened, many more will follow therefore expect questions - some you may be able to answer and some you may not, but this is fine. Put a list together with them and what you do not know you can find out.

For many of us talking about emotions with our children is not the norm, therefore it may be easier to encourage your child to write their feelings and worries down. We have heard that a worry monster for instance is a good resource as it allows your child to write down their feelings and let the monster gobble them up. If only this works for us adults too!

The best advice we can give is, be open, be honest, be real, and most importantly, just be you. Yes, you have cancer, and yes things are going to change on the outside, but you are still you on the inside.

You need love, you need comfort and most importantly, you need a cuddle or two.